Have any of you, stay at home, or work from home moms out there, ever thought…I’m an at home mom, does my style really, truly matter? Have you thought, “no one is going to see me, so why should I even bother?”
Ever been on a flight and heard the flight attendant instruct you to put on your own oxygen mask, before, you attempt to help your child, or those around you in the event of an emergency ? Pretty sure you don’t question doing that, right? Makes total sense, doesn’t it?
In the event of an emergency, you need to be able to “BREATHE” to help those around you.
Makes total sense, it’s all logistics and is completely rational. We have never raised our hands and said, hey there sir/madam, I’m really tired, the baby kept me up all night, and I don’t have the energy to put that mask on right now, but I really want to help my son, is there an option B where I can just do it later? Or maybe, hey there sir/madam, I love my family more than life itself, I’ve got to get the mask over their faces first, then I’ll do mine, does that work? I’m a really good mom, shouldn’t I “save” my family first ? At least I hope you haven’t done that…but stranger things have been known to happen!
Now, maybe some of you are thinking, what does this have to do with my style?..I’m getting there. Hang tight, and indulge me for a tad longer. I did some research to offer some factual information along with my usual satirical references, and here’s what I found. In the event of an inflight emergency, and the cabin of the aircraft becomes depressurized, the oxygen saturation level in the body drops, and the body begins to experience hypoxia. In a matter of minutes, a rational person devolves into someone who can’t recognize normal things, like shapes, sights and sounds. If your brain goes too long without oxygen, things can go south REALLY quickly and you can lose consciousness. Who do you think you can you help in that scenario?!?!?!!!
Now I don’t know about you, but that whole depressurized cabin scenario….. sounds like a Wednesday in my house.
Especially the part where I start out as a rational person and devolve into someone else!!! Can you relate? No?…just me? I seriously doubt that!
Being an at home mom, is HARD WORK!
We love it. At least, I know that I do. I do work from home, but often times, still consider myself a stay at home mom. I’m not hung up on labels, so it doesn’t really matter that much what I’m “called”. Being at home with our kids, working or not, is a sacrifice that our family decided to make, and it is one that has brought so much joy to all of our lives and has been of great benefit to our children. It is a personal choice, and not for everyone, but I’m telling you…it’s a serious mind melding experiment at times isn’t it?
The constant struggle of wanting to find balance, between being who you are as a woman, and being this ideal image of a mom (most likely, one that we’ve created ourselves).
As wives and mothers, we feel a great sense of guilt when we have the desire to take care of ourselves.
We try to justify this feeling, by calling anything to do with the way we look, frivolous or shallow.
We say we don’t have time for it. Yet, we take the time to clean our homes, plan our meals to be prepared on time, make sure our husbands are happy, our kids are happy and healthy, the dog goes to the vet, the laundry gets washed, folded and put away. Then by the end of it all we MIGHT consider trying to look “presentable”, but, by that time, we’ve run out of steam and what’s the point, the day is done and tomorrow we rinse and repeat. All while running through that depressurized cabin, in our pajamas or grungy clothes, devolving from the person who began the day.
So what happens in this scenario? We end up feeling like our family doesn’t appreciate us, our husbands don’t find us attractive anymore, and we begin to feel invisible. When in reality, we have been the largest part of the reason that we end up feeling this way. We have chosen to be last on our list of priorities. We have inadvertently, fostered an environment of resentment. Often times, we aren’t even aware it’s happening.
MOM GUILT IS A REAL THING!!!
So what’s the solution ? Put the oxygen mask on yourself FIRST, before you attempt to navigate that frequently depressurized cabin..aka, everyday mom life. Your “oxygen” for the day can be as simple as a pair of modern sweatpants and a great fitting t-shirt. Check out my post on loungewear, I’ve shown lots of options. Pick any easy “mom uniform” like I’ve shown here. (I’ll elaborate on that in another post). Just make it easy! A pair of jeans and a cozy sweater like this one, works just fine.
This may mean you might have to get up before the kiddos do, which if you’re like me, might sound like absolute torture! I’m NOT a morning person !
BUT…I do like the the quiet time to read, or do whatever I’d like, without hearing “mom” and to me that’s worth the extra bit of effort, to roll myself out of bed.
Find a pair of shoes that YOU find cute, and comfortable, especially if you know you might need to run quick errands. Keep them readily accessible. They should be neutral, and should be able to be worn with your standard “uniform”. You’ll feel better, knowing that you’re prepared, for those “just in case” errands.
Even a comfy dress, like this one, if you’re not a jean person. Brush your hair into a quick ponytail. Maybe add some lip gloss and curl your eyelashes. You don’t need a full face of makeup. I know I’ve said this before, but it’s so important, it’s worth repeating!
Do whatever makes YOU feel good.
It will make a difference in how you face the day. Bonus, if you get a call for an impromptu get together, you’ll feel like you’re ahead of the game, which as an at home mom, we all know is quite a victory.
Don’t wait for this created idea of perfection..”I need to lose weight”, “the kids are too young right now”, “my husband doesn’t mind that I’m still wearing my pajamas when he gets home” (hint: HE DOES!)
This ideal scenario or idea of perfection…
DOES. NOT. EXIST
Would you show up to a job, outside the home, in your pajamas? I sure hope not! So why is it any different when our jobs are in the home?
Try it for a week, come back, let me know how you feel. I can guarantee you, that with just a little bit of effort, you will begin to notice a change in how you navigate the day. This isn’t a magic pill that will change everything overnight, but, as a woman (yep!!!.. you’re technically still one of those, even after you’ve had kids) looking good makes you feel good, and as a result, directly affects those all around you in a positive way.
Happy wife, happy life!
As always, if there is anything that I can do to help, or if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me, or leave me questions in the comments section down below.
Please share this post with any moms you know, who may be struggling with feelings of guilt, in making time for herself to look, and feel good.
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